Mentoring; The Effects Of Positive Role Models
by John Graden
When I was a child, my parents fought all of the time; it was clear that in my family the two biggest burdens in life were bills and kids. It's not surprising that I grew up not wanting children.
I just could not for the life of me imagine ever having children of my own. When friends would tell me they were expecting a baby, I'd always reply, 'on purpose?'.
For me, that started to change in March of 2000 when I returned from a two-week seminar tour in Sydney, Australia. My wife explained that she had been all over town buying pregnancy tests. All 11 tests came up positive. We were going to have a baby.
She was scared to death knowing how I felt. As the months went on, I had to struggle with the concept that I was going to become a father.
After seeing this, my wife asked a friend of mine, Scott Kelby, to share the joys of fatherhood with me. Scott was my first art director and is one of my best friends. Over the years, I have learned a great deal from him. At the time of this story, I was trying to repay some of that by teaching him how to kick box.
Our typical cool down after the workouts was a nice walk. I came to realize how wonderful fatherhood would be while on one such walk. He completely changed how I approached the idea of having children.
Before having children of my own, Alexander and Christopher, I had told myself for many years that having children would be such a burden. I would no longer have my freedom and have to spend all of my money on them. Scott helped me to understand that having children is one the the most rewarding experiences you can have in life.
In fact, Scott was so moved by the transformation he saw in me that he wrote a book about me called, The Book for Guys Who Don't Want to Have Kids.
Up until that lesson with Scott, I thought I had a pretty good handle on my self-talk. Through my martial arts training and the influence of my long-distance mentors, like Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins, I learned that my outer world was a reflection of my inner world. I learned that my success was my own responsibility, and that the rest of the world had their own problems and programming to deal with. If it was to be, it was up to me.
The conversations you have with yourself in your mind are the conversations most important to your lifestyle. These conversations fit all fit together to form your thought patterns, which end up forming your behavioral patterns.
http://www.JohnGraden.com/the_impostor_syndrome
http://www.johngraden.com/files/the_impostor_syndrome.php
Published June 30th, 2008
Filed in Women
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